Debate Over Child Custody

It has been a decade since Richard Thomas was locked in a contentious divorce battle. But the years have not dimmed the emotional toll of ending a marriage and having limited access to his three children.

“It’s winner take all,” he said of custody arrangements. “You go from being a parent to a visitor … and it’s insulting.”

Thomas, a nurse who lives near Rockford, said he is determined to use his “life experiences” to benefit others mired in similar circumstances. It’s why he has been involved in drafting a shared-parenting proposal in Springfield, although that proposal hasn’t gained traction. Thomas considers another version of the bill moving through the legislature to be watered-down, but others have touted it as a significant overhaul of Illinois family law.

Advocates like Thomas argue that children are better served when they can spend equal time with both parents. They oppose laws that award custody to one parent over another, unless a parent is deemed unfit, and would like the law to mandate that both parties get a minimum percentage of time with their kids.

But opponents — such as the Illinois State Bar Association and the Cook County public guardian’s office — say that if judges are to put children first, they need flexibility, not a one-size-fits-all solution.

It’s a debate that is happening nationwide, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures. Illinois is one of seven states to grapple with legislation about how best to ensure that both parents have a continuing relationship with their kids after a divorce.

For years, family courts would automatically grant custody of offspring to mothers, requiring little of fathers other than the standard arrangement: Every-other-weekend visits, one or two evenings during the week and paying child support, said David Kerpel, a Deerfield-based family law attorney.

In the 1980s, the domestic landscape changed. As more women went to work outside the home, more men became engaged and nurturing caregivers, forging strong ties that benefited their children.

Numerous research studies also supported the notion that youngsters fare better when they are raised by both parents, providing that neither has disorders such as addiction or a history of violence, experts say.

Too often, though, judges still rule as if we’re living in the 1950s, said Dr. Ned Holstein, head of the Boston-based National Parents Organization, formerly called Fathers and Families. The same bias that women encountered in the corporate world is routinely faced by men in the legal system, he said.

“That breakdown of gender roles has been very slow to come to family courts. They are just now being pressured to catch up with the rest of society,” Holstein said.

While about 2 million women nationwide are noncustodial parents, the debate is often framed as a battle of the sexes, with men’s rights groups on one side and feminist groups on the other.

If you have child custody issues, or any other family law concerns, call Steven Hair, attorney at law. Steven W. Hair, focuses his practice as a divorce attorney, family law attorney in Clearwater, Palm Harbor, and Safety Harbor,, Florida

For more information, visit our website at www.FamilyLawClearwater.com
or call (727) 726-0797.